Sit The Same Way

The life crammed into

This warm room;

Where pictures hold on to a time gone by;

Where random junk can’t be thrown away

For the memories that that linger.

 

These memories,

Must be left in a box and put away;

The laughter and the lonely tears

Must stay here.

This home left behind.

 

The life flows out of

This warm room,

Onto the staircase with worn carpet,

Into the world we thought would sit

The same way forever.

 

These memories,

Must grow up and be torn away;

Must laugh and cry their lonely tears

Somewhere else,

This home left behind.

Sinking Feeling

Like a lost dingy, I float,

With no power or zeal,

No meaning no purpose

Just floating.

 

But, now and again,

I get a sinking feeling

Past hurts bubble to the surface

and pull me under.

 

Like a useless rock, I sink,

No rescue or hope,

No underlying strength,

Just sinking.

 

Others rise as I fall,

But my many failures

Become more loyal than loved ones,

and drag me down,

                            down,

                                   down.

Forgotten

New life

Has Sprung out of you,

The past left behind;

The place you were

Forgotten...forgiven almost

 

But I, I wanted you to die,

To be left as nothing

Or to burn until you crumbled to empty remains;

You, the place that taught me,

You the place that crumbled me

To nothing.

 

You are

Now surrounded with flower beds,

Your dark walls brightened;

The place you were

Warmed...homely almost

 

But I, I wanted you left cold,

To be left heartless

Or to be bulldozed until you fell to pieces;

You, the place that ignored me,

You the place that tore me

To pieces.

 

Life will

Move into you now,

Sweep away the flaws in your past;

Under a new rug,

Forgotten...Forgiven almost.

To Be Loved

These tears don’t belong here

Yet here they are anyway

Needing a hand of reassurance

To say it’s okay

 

The feeling will pass

It always does

Don’t put up defences

I’m just making a fuss

Though sometimes knowledge

Just isn’t enough

I need to be loved, I need to be loved

 

These tears I’ve welcomed

My long lost friends

Needing some kind of reassurance

That I’m okay

 

This will be forgotten

It always is

No holding grudges

Just ignore this

Though sometimes I need more

Than a silent wish

I need to be loved, I need to be loved

Purpose

I sleep better when I'm unhappy - I shut my mind off from the real world and I live to sleep...

...But when I have a purpose, a focus, a passion; when I feel fulfilled, sleep doesn't come easily.  When my head hits the pillow, I can't wait to wake again, to put my ideas into action.

A Writer's Frustration

'One always has a better book in one's mind than one can manage to get onto paper.' Michael Cunningham, 'The Hours'.

Trapped

The words are knocking at the windows, trying to get out. Trapped in claustrophobic recycled-air filled rooms they are forced to wait another day of click, click, click... faint humming...ring ring. And another day; click, click, click... faint humming...ring ring. And another day; click, click, click... faint humming...ring ring. And another day; click, click, click...faint humming...ring ring...until the words develop a terminal illness and die.